Here I Am, Lord

Now there was a certain disciple at Damascus named Ananias; and the Lord said to him in a vision, “Ananias.” And he said, “Here I am, Lord.” And the Lord said to him, “Get up and go to the street called Straight, and inquire at the house of Judas for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying, and he has seen in a vision a man named Ananias come in and lay his hands on him, so that he might regain his sight.”

But Ananias answered, “Lord, I have heard from many about this man, how much harm he did to Your saints at Jerusalem; and here he has authority from the chief priests to bind all who call on Your name.”

But the Lord said to him, “Go, for he is a chosen instrument of Mine, to bear My name before the Gentiles and kings and the sons of Israel; for I will show him how much he must suffer for My name’s sake.”

So Ananias departed and entered the house, and after laying his hands on him said, “Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus, who appeared to you on the road by which you were coming, has sent me so that you may regain your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” And immediately there fell from his eyes something like scales, and he regained his sight, and he got up and was baptized; and he took food and was strengthened. (Acts 9:10-19a)

We are at once given the impression that Ananias was a man of fervent and frequent prayer. His conversation with God in these verses brings memories of Abraham (Gen. 18) and Moses (Ex. 33:11) and many others.

Three things stand out to me about Ananias’ actions in this passage:

1. He recognized God’s voice and responded immediately. “Here I am, Lord.” Ananias knew the voice of his Good Shepherd and was quick to announce his readiness and willingness to converse with his Lord.
2. He conversed with God. “But Ananias answered…” He expressed his incredulity in a respectful manner. If we’re not careful, we can find ourselves exchanging prayer (dialogue) with a monologue. This is often expressed as us telling God all the things we want, but it can also look like us receiving a word from God, but then leaving no room for discussion. “God said it, so I’m doing it. End of story.” While this is a good default, we see from this passage and others like it that God welcomes, and maybe even expects, our questions and dialogues. It is a relationship, after all.
3. Ananias obeyed. After voicing his concerns and receiving an answer from God, Ananias obeyed. In this case, the gift of obedience was a powerful expression of worship and trust. Ananias knew about Saul, and had heard the news about his persecuting of the church. It took great trust in the word of the Lord to walk in faithfulness and obey His instructions. 

As I consider these three points, I’m struck by how often I struggle with one or more of them. There are times when I’m like the boy, Samuel, who didn’t recognize God’s voice (1 Sam. 3). There are also times when I hear God’s voice, but am slow to respond.

Other times, I fall into the trap of monologuing at God, or failing to truly converse with God, even when that means expressing my concerns with what He’s spoken.

Then there’s the challenge of obedience, which is one we can all relate to. Sometimes God’s instructions are difficult to follow, but every act of obedience or disobedience serves as an indicator of who is the lord of our life. 

Is it God? Is it us? Is it something or someone else?

Sometimes when I read or study about someone like Ananias I can feel disheartened. Here’s this “giant of the faith” showing us what it looks like to experience a rich and powerful prayer life, while the rest of us are struggling along with one or more of the points above. But then I’m reminded of Saul just a few verses earlier (Acts 9:4-9).

This well-educated Jewish religious leader had a very different prayer experience on the road to Damascus. Let’s compare it with the three points from Ananias’ prayer above:

1. “Who are You, Lord?” (Acts 9:5) Ananias recognized God’s voice and said, “Here I am, Lord,” but Saul didn’t recognize God’s voice, and so he asked, “Who are You, Lord?”
2. Saul made no response to God’s instruction (Acts 9:8). In other words, he treated this prayer as a monologue, rather than as a dialogue.
3. Saul did act in obedience, but only after being “arrested” by Jesus on the road, and having his physical sight removed (which scholars and commentators think was meant to reflect his spiritual blindness up this point).

And yet, Saul, who was later known as Paul, went on to become one of the most significant and influential evangelists/apostles within the early church. 

My point is that even Saul got some things wrong; even Saul was human. But God still used him in a powerful way.

He can do the same with you.

He can do the same with me.

My prayer for each of us today is that we would adopt the spirit of Ananias, which is in many ways the spirit of Isaiah. May we learn to recognize the voice of God and to respond immediately: “Here I am, Lord.” May we dialogue with Him, converse with Him. And then may we have the power and faith to walk in obedience.